Dating & The Single Mommy

To Start A Simple Question: Can it work?

The not so simple Answer: I still don't know how to make it work.

I remember back in high school when dating was just plain fun. Well yeah in the end there is always the heartbreak and tears, but you move on, find someone else and tell yourself all the ways this boyfriend/girlfriend is SO much better than your last. On the fun side, you went to dances, football games, movies, and you were just carefree. There were no worries, besides would it last, and in the end we were all so young we didn't even really care if it did or not, we had our whole lives in front of us.

Well when you have a child, I swear I think dating is like another job and in that sense some of the fun is taken away. Now it's always well do I have the time? Because above all else your child has to come first. Then, even if it is the first date, things are constantly running through your head...."hmmm I wonder if my son would like him? If he would like my son? I wonder if Nicholas is ok?"
Then there is the guilt. The guilt of being out when in reality there is SO much other stuff that needs to be done, schoolwork, laundry, cleaning, etc..

Then there is my favorite part...and this isn't a criticism to anyone who doesn't have a child, but when you are dating someone who doesn't have a child, they want to do things at a drop of a hat, because they have no commitments, and then when you can't they get angry and frustrated because you aren't spending enough time with them. That really is my favorite part..."I'm sorry its 9 o'clock at night, I don't have a babysitter, I can't go out at 9:30" You'd think they would understand that. Well I'm here to tell you 99% of the time they don't.

Then if you date someone who does have a child, there is double the amounts of things that are getting in your way in order to see each other.

So in the end, can being a single parent and dating work? Well I think so, but there are some basic rules I think need to be followed:

1.) Everyone deserves the chance to go out...so set aside once a week as date night, and no matter what, get out even if you are going out by yourself, just get out, have some fun, let loose.

2.) When you are out, no matter how hard it is, forget everything, don't think a thousand questions, just go back to your high school days, and be carefree and have fun.

3.) One thing that I am very adamant on is this : don't involve your child in your dating life, until you know that this might be going somewhere, don't let your child meet every single one of your dates, because all you are doing is confusing and hurting your child, but in the end, if you do introduce your child to the person you are dating, if your child doesn't like that person, LISTEN to your child, don't just wave it off like it's nothing, because I will bet you in the end your child was right. :)

So go ahead, go out there and have some fun :)