Simply Amazed...there are no words

So today I dropped my son off at his Special Education Pre-School clasroom for his 2 1/2 hour day.

To Understand this story you need this side bit of information....Nicholas is in this program for a speech and language impairment.....

So to continue....Nicholas walks into the classroom, I am telling his special education teacher, that I will be picking him up today...when Nicholas walks over to the teacher....and pulls on her arm, (doesn't say anything), gets her attention, then points at his shoe (still not saying anything), and keeps pointing at his shoe, until his teacher who is guessing everything and anything, figures out that his shoe is wet....and this is why he is complaining.....silently....

I watch this whole scene, and then look at Nicholas and say..."excuse me since when can't we talk?" He just shakes his head....so I then said..."well I guess since you can't talk we need to take away your TV and toys."

Nicholas: "Mommy I can talk."

Me: "I thought so, now you know better and you need to use your words, go put your stuff away please."

Nicholas: "ok Mommy, bye"

I then turn to his teacher and just look at her....

Me: "ummmmm correct me if I'm wrong, but he is here for a speech delay, since when does him not talking help with his speech impairment?"

DePalma: "Well he hasn't been here for two days, so he was looking for attention."

Me: "So we are reinforcing him getting negative attention?"

DePalma: "Well no, we aren't doing that, but he just wanted some attention from me, so I gave it to him."

Me: "but by you responding to him, without him talking, you are reinforcing him not having to talk. (Then because I really had to run because I had to get my dad to an appointment) Uhhhh I don't have time to argue this with you, just don't do it anymore....I don't need you helping him to not talk...you are supposed to be helping him TO TALK.....gotta go bye."

But I mean seriously people....really?!?! How is this OK?

Happy Birthday to My Baby Boy....oooh excuse me my Big Boy

Well It's official...it's October 22nd, which means my baby is now a big boy and has officially turned 5. I simply cannot believe it. Where have those 5 years gone? I still remember October 21st, 2004 completely clearly. Now you all are probably saying...wait a minute he was born the 22nd...and you are right, but his birth starts on the 21st. I can remember being at my job at that time, Tutor Time, and saying to everyone, "I will be right back, I'm just going for my ultrasound....see everyone in like 2 hours." Well you guessed it...those 2 hours turned into 6 weeks. My son dramatic since the start :) I went for my ultrasound, thinking everything was normal...and then everybody gets all mysterious....the technician, is in and out of the room, the staff are going back and forth, and then finally, me getting rather annoyed, because I don't know what is going on, ask "is everything ok?" The technician says get dressed, and sit in the waiting room, we are waiting for Dr. Ronan to call us back, concerning you." so I got dressed, and waited. About an hour later, they came and told me, go to the hospital, Dr. Ronan will meet you there. So the scared little girl that I am....call my Mom....and head to the hospital...only when I called her...I didn't know anything...so I went to the hospital, and they had a room ready...and Dr. Ronan was there....nothing horrible, I just needed to get IV Fluid through the night, and then the next morning they would induce labor. So I spent the night with a needle in my arm, contemplating the next day...when I would meet my little baby boy.

The next morning at 8:30 AM sharp, they started the inducing drugs....and I admit it...I said....I don't want pain medicine...no drugs for me...not at all....haha yeah right....the first sign of pain....I was begging....:)

At exactly 7:10 that night...my little boy was there....Nicholas Gino Federico, my baby boy. Now there is a very funny story that should be put in here...but out of my own embarrassment I won't say it...but Auntie Jo...you know what it is....(the first meeting of my son)

The next 5 years pass in a huge blur....don't get me wrong I have lots and lots of adorable stories...

His christening for example....when his Godmother/Great Aunt (sorry Auntie Jo...but it's true) kept the towel to clean his head off, after the water, and the deacon says "who has my towel" or the first time he said "mama" or when he finally crawled for the first time, or walked for that matter....how about his first day of pre-school, and taking the bus, like such a big boy. I have millions of them, and I could take up the rest of the night and probably all the next day discussing them....so I will spare everyone :)

Then there are the not so good times...like when at 2 weeks old...my baby was admitted to the hospital for an infected finger....yes that's right an infected finger....I felt like the worst mother in the world at that point...my baby was only two weeks old and he was already hospitalized :(

Or the more recent two stitches in his head, because he tripped over his own feet while playing and went head first into the corner of a wall....

But these past 5 years, while passing quickly have also been the greatest of my life, I have had the privilege of raising one of the cutest, smartest, funniest, most adorable children in the world...my little boy.

And as is tradition with me, and everyone who knows me knows this, A BIG BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION will be starting today and ending on Sunday. :) We have parties at school, parties at home, parties at his gym, and our big family party, for the rest of the weekend...

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY VERY SPECIAL LITTLE BOY....I LOVE YOU NICHOLAS. I still can't believe you have turned 5 today....:)

A thought from watching a tv show

Well if you know me at all you know that I LOVE the tv show Brothers and Sisters...in fact it is the only show I watch on TV. Every Sunday night, no matter what I'm doing, or how much work I have to do, I stop everything and turn on ABC and enjoy my one show.

Well after tonights episode, I had a thought. Obviously from the title of this blog...The Single Mommy, I am a single Mom, it was a choice I made myself, it was a choice I never question, but I have a question tonight....

After watching tonights episode, I saw something that makes me wonder. There is a family, a mother, father, and a son. This dynamic stays together simply because of the child. So my question is this...

Is it better to give your child a mother and a father even if you aren't happy in your situation? Or is it better to do as I did and leave the bad situation?

Well all I can say to this is simply this:

My son is soon to be 5 years old...and all I hear from anyone who meets him, is how much of a happy child he is, how they never see him without a smile on his face, how respectful he is, and how much of a pure joy he is to be around. So I say this....I made the right choice...my son is happy and I am happy and at peace with my decision. :)

So my lesson for the night for all you readers out there....you might think you are doing the right thing for your child by staying together, but in the end, the child will realize that you stayed together simply for them, and they will feel guilt and anger. So don't do it. If you aren't happy, get out, you can both still be parents to the child, but you don't have to be together to be parents.

In my situation, his father has chosen to not be a father to his son, but that was a choice he made, and a choice he has to be at peace with. Is he at peace with his decision? I can't answer that, because I don't know. All I can say is...I am at peace.

The Cutest and Funniest Conversation I have ever had

Nicholas- "Mommy you need to stop leaving me."

Me: "Nicholas mommy only went to the library for the school, b/c Mommy had to study."

Nick- "Mommy all you do is study, too much studying, now stop it."

Me:- "Nicholas, Mommy has to study, so Mommy can get a good education, and become a teacher."

Nick:- "No Mommy, Mrs. DePalma doesn't study, she plays, she's my teacher, you play like her.

Me:- "Nicholas, Mrs. Depalma plays with you b/c she already got her education and is a teacher, mommy didn't finish yet.

Nick:- "Well hurry up Mommy, your slow like great-grandma

Me:- "Well I'm sorry Nicholas that it took me longer, but I had to take some time to raise you."

Nick:- "Mommy I'm a big boy, you no raise me anymore, hurry up mommy."

Me:- "Ohhh ok Nicholas, I'll try to hurry up."

Now after this conversation and replaying it in my head...its no wonder I'm always so exhausted...this child is just too smart for his own good...but he's so cute too..I just can't help but love him..